choroneko | (no subject)

(no subject)

you know
i just

everything is only distraction
from th tyruth about myself

i am nothing
have nothing
no friends no life nothing
all attempts at getting suhc things fail
always

games
anime
manga
computer
internet

just distract me
from the nothing
without it i return
to nothing

what is the poinit of this
all i do is nothing
and yet take up space, money, all kjinbds of things
despite being nothing
thiscneeds to stop
now

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Why don't you look into accredited online colleges and apply for financial aid? That's a good start I'd think.

Also start job hunting?

I may have just met you, but I love you anyway! ♥

I sincerely hope things grow better in the future.
And I'll do whatever you want me to do help that happen sooner.

You aren't "nothing". I suggest that you get that thought out of your head now, or you will just continue to make yourself more and more upset. Self-pity is extremely damaging, especially if there are things that you want to work towards (job, friends, ect).

Like

jonjonxd said, online college would be good. Perhaps you could get a job while you're enrolled? It doesn't have to be a bigshot job, and if you go in expecting to land one, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Apply for something that could ease you into things and wouldn't stress you out terribly. You said you volunteer at the library...are there any jobs available at the circulation desk? You don't get a crapload of money for it, but it's something, right? Not to mention it would make you feel a whole lot better about yourself, judging by what you've been saying.

Anyway, I hope things start looking up for you. ♥

No.

Last time I checked, I'm your friend, and so is everyone else here.

And useless is not an adjective. It's a verb. It's not a permanent state. If you choose to be useful you will be useful. If you're useless now, it's only because you think you can't do anything. But you can. There's always something.

Volunteer work does help in getting a job, no matter how menial the tasks may seem. Even if you don't learn skills employers will recognize that you're active within the community and it's a good way to meet possible employers or find job opportunities that the public is unaware of. Getting a job is all about connections, not just skills.

Don't give up on college. Keep trying until you get in.
And not gonna lie, being dirt-poor is the way to get the best financial aid.

We're all here to support you. Do your best. ♥

"And not gonna lie, being dirt-poor is the way to get the best financial aid."

THIS! Oh god. Agreed so hard.

Edited 2010-07-18 03:34 (UTC)

First off, you aren't nothing. Self-pitying never got anyone anywhere. Trust me on this okay? I used to be a huge defeatist and did it all the time. You aren't alone either. You have family and friends (online or offline) that care a lot about you. I may not know you EXTREMELY well, but I do care for you and think you are all sorts of awesome. I am here for you, and so are a lot of other people. Keep that chin up! ♥ we love you!

And online courses are GREAT if you are dedicated. You get to set your own scheadule and it's very easy to have a job at the same time. (and no group projects or presentations! yay!) And are very good for improving high school grades. I'm retaking a bunch of high school courses so I can get more financial aid and schoolarships. So I can vouche for online courses. Community college I've heard is a good route too. You have plenty of options.

You mentioned voluntering at the library? Yes it gives you no money, but employers DO look at volunteer hours. It shows that you can commit to something and have experience working somewhere. Besides if you do good enough work at the library you might just land a paying job. And if not? You at least have references for a resume. Volunteer hours are good! Actually in Canada we have to complete 40 hours of community service before we can graduate from high school. (Also I know for a fact there are some schoolarships available for those that give back to their communities)

"Actually in Canada we have to complete 40 hours of community service before we can graduate from high school."

Same here, except in college instead of high school. I don't know if this is just my college's own rule or the state's though. Anyway, we quite literally have classes that are community/civics credits. My first semester of college I had a class called "Writing in Communities" which [for me, anyway] was spent writing little ditties for a local charity's newsletter that literally said no more than "THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE IN STOCK NOW SO COME BUY IT PLEASE. MONEYS GO TO GOOD CAUSE, YES?" No one said it had to be skilled work.

Yeah I thought the community hours was a great idea. (should also edit my comment, because I'm not sure if it's ALL of Canada, but I do know Ontario and a few other provinces enforce this rule for sure.) But whole classes dedicated to the subject? Win!

I did all 40 of my community hours helping out at the local cat hospital. Which just involved me feeding and cleaning cats and playing with little kitties. It was the best, AND looks great on a resume!

You have lots of friends online and we are all here to listen and help. I agree heavily with what everyone is saying on here.

I agree with trying for an accredited online college or a community college and trying for the financial aid. Also if you look into a community college check to see if they have work study. You'll get paid and get some experience and could lead into a better job~

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Sorry saw this and HAD to comment.

Seconding everyone above me, bb.

Doing the same thing you did because I can. XD;;

bahahah win!

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